What is Happiness?

I've always believed that happiness is when a person feels good inside. When they are satisfied and content with themselves and their surroundings. A warm and peaceful feeling. When they feel good about their life.

It seems to me that I have been chasing happiness for my entire life. For whatever reason, I find it elusive. I want it desperately, and I'm always chasing it. They say that happiness must come from within. You have to find it inside of you. Within your soul. Well, okay, so how do you do that? I have been told this often, I have read this often. How exactly do you do it? There are lots of self-help books out there. Lots of books on psychology. And I have read many of them over the years.

As someone who deals with anxiety and depression, I have always been searching for answers and solutions. I have received a lot of counselling and therapy over the years, with mixed results. I have tried antidepressants prescribed by my doctor. I'm not going to knock or say anything bad about antidepressants. I know they work for a lot of people. All I will say is, for myself, it produced a false happiness, an artificial happiness created by prescribed medication. After being on them for awhile, I stopped taking them, and I haven't taken them since.

I've always had low self-esteem since I was a kid growing up. I have always had low self-confidence, and I always seem to be unsure of myself and my place in this world. A lot of times, I didn't like who I was, or what I was. And as a result, I fell into the negative and self-destructive patterns of addictions.

Whenever I was lonely, or full of self-loathing, I always tried to fill the void by trying to bring people into my life, whether they were friendships, relationships, or just acquaintances. But, because I never liked myself very much, or really felt comfortable in my own skin, all these relationships were doomed to fail, and they did. Some sooner, some later.

The one bright shining star in my life that does bring me happiness is my pet rabbit, "Buddy". Buddy is my best friend, and I love him unconditionally. I adopted Buddy 5 years ago. He is a white, albino dwarf rabbit. He is 6 years old now. He has been with me through a lot of the difficult times in my life, and he's always here for me. Having a pet is very therapeutic. I thank God every day for having Buddy in my life. I love you, Buddy!

Nick