Open Space

There is this incredibly huge open space inside my chest, no longer burning tight and constricted
The all-consuming vacuum that desperately desired a life of love and passion that was so restricted
Terrified of being all alone, I held on to the false hope or lie that ‘potential’ was the highest calling
Distracted by the arduous agony of circumstances beyond my belief or control, I kept on falling

Deeper and deeper into his fear I fell, the poverty mindset, never enough suffering, silence or lack
Distorted beliefs, a noose around the neck, on a platform I felt it impossible to go forward or back
But I did it, I escaped the grip, and behold extravagant joy! Mornings of sunshine, rare rest because
The peace that passes all understanding has flooded my soul, and I am not nearly as alone as I was

The power of true love is incomparable and complete, it is the great commission; it is not a cliché
This indescribable open space inside my chest reaches out endlessly in all directions, day after day
The color of the autumn leaves seem vibrant, intense; unfamiliar calm fills the fresh air I breathe
I keep saying how happy and glad I am, so grateful that I had the support and the courage to leave

I do catch myself afraid of old judgements; flashbacks serve as a reminder of the cruelty endured
I can barely believe my own story sometimes; brilliance, beauty and abuse, bordering on the absurd
Part of the problem was the amount of responsibility I put on myself to fix things, to create the magic
Problem solver, people pleaser, searching elsewhere for what was already inside of me proved tragic

The good I can manage pales in light of the promises of provision according to God’s glory and riches
He was bruised for my iniquities, for my freedom slain, so l set no limit on what He does with my stiches
Going forward, I give Him complete authority to love and lead me, as His precious child and warrior too
Surrendering my pride, I beg for wisdom in the telling of truth, God please show me exactly what to do

God has taken what the enemy planned for evil and destruction and transformed it by His amazing grace
I keep asking, “What is this inside of me, the vast openness in my chest, what is the purpose of this space?”
For decades I cried out God to answer my prayers, but didn’t fully put my trust in the freedoms He granted
It seems my heart is an eternal vessel whose capacity surpasses that small tent size; words will be planted

Scattered far and wide to flourish in ready soil, sparing souls self-destruction as the vail of deception is lifted
Measuring our worth through the wrong eyes, believing lies, we self-define, doubting what has been gifted
Our Creator is Alpha and Omega, we are more than conquerors in Him; He is the way, the truth, and the light
Look to the cross, see the sacrifice paid for your victory, and then do not choose willful blindness in the night

Stop the suffering and tyranny of your spirit, reclaim your place in the Kingdom and accept your inheritance
Put on the crown of salvation and the full armour of God, fight the good fight of faith, and use your influence
Fully healed, my heart is running and leaping and praising God, I am evidence of the promises He will keep
Commanded to seek the lost like the Good Sheppard, we are to love His little lambs, feed His hungry sheep

I was the woman at the well with my own set of sins, misguided priorities, in constant thirst, so very broken
He offered living water that never runs dry, so it’s time to go to town, tell others the truth and be outspoken
God consistently used failures for His glory; distracted, dejected, even those who detracted, removing shame
Sometimes when God appointed a new vision, mission, or identity, He would even give someone a new name

If the Kingdom of Heaven is within, there has to be room for limitless love, true transformation; real change
My life can never be the same, maybe I need to let go of trying so hard to create a legacy, sound strange?
Was I ever called for that? Where did that idea even come from? He said, “Be still and know that I am God”
I am chosen in spite of being flawed; He called me to rest, to love and be loved, to praise Him and be awed

His Word says I am forgiven, blameless in His sight; I was a slave to sin, but by His grace I have been set free
I once was dead but now I am alive, I can be bold and confident because although I was blind, now I can see
As He abides in me, and I in Him, there will be a harvest of good fruit born from these weathered branches
Maybe we receive this sacred space when we let go and surrender our soul, to the God of second chances

Michelle Jane