Today I was reading Proverbs 1 and 2. Usually when I read Proverbs it's familiar because I know it well and I tend to just read the words and not let them land anywhere fruitful. So I intentionally read it today asking...what do you want to show me today Lord? Below is what stuck out to me with my thoughts expressed in between each chunk of scripture!
As a little background info, for the last month and a half I have been hard at work applying for jobs, attending job interviews, and getting ready to put my little one in daycare. This is a stressful time and I have found myself doubting my career choice, getting moody when thinking about giving up such wonderful time with my daughter because I feel like I have to make money, and doubting my abilities to be good at what I do (which has made it hard to promote myself well in some of my interviews). I go through waves of excitement and waves of self-doubt and have been failing to ask God to provide what I need in this season and trust that He has something wonderful for me that will grow me even further into the likeness of His Son! I forget to remember who I am, who He has created me to be, what He has called me to, and how He has trained me though life, education, and continual guidance for what is next...thus ending up in me doubting myself and what He is calling me to do. Truth is...if I am feeling outside my comfort zone and that I am needing to rely on Him for what comes next...I am likely exactly where I need to be for Him to take me where He wants me to go!
1:8 "Listen, my son to your fathers instruction"
Listen = requires action ...in my reading of scripture search for what God is instructing me to do.
1:10 “My son, if sinful men entice you, do not give into them”
Do not allow sinful temptations around you to capture you. What sinful temptations have I been experiencing lately? Listen...what do I say about them? What do I say about who you are? What do I say about what to do with them?
1:23 “Repent at my rebuke! Then I will pour out my thoughts to you, I will make known to you my teachings."
Repent! Don’t just acknowledge them. Repent! Listen and do what I tell you to do. Think my thoughts!
1:24-27 “but since you refuse to listen when I call and no-one pays attention when I stretch out my hand...disaster sweeps over you like a whirlwind, when distress and trouble overwhelm you."
For a time you were not listening to what I was trying to tell you. You were trying to figure out things on your own. This is when you became overwhelmed and distressed! I am stretching out my hand to you, I want to guide you out but you have to listen and follow.
1:28-31 “then they will call to me but I will not answer...they will eat the fruit of their ways and be filled with the fruit of their schemes..."
As you call to me I hear you and I am coming, however, I will not take away the consequences of your thoughts or actions. They will come but so will I.
2:1-11 “My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding- indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding...then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom..."
When you cry aloud for understanding and insight, if you accept my words and store up my commands in your heart, your reverence for me will give you wisdom and knowledge in life giving paths!
Linette
Thank you for sharing this. This is interesting to me because I can totally understand where you’re coming from from my own experiences, but now I’m seeing this from another side as well. I don’t doubt you or your career choice. I think you are the exact right person to be a counsellor or work in those types of jobs. You are so caring, wise, loving, understanding, professional, and helpful. So it makes me feel sad that you would feel self doubt, like “Aaaw, noo, Linette, you’re amazing for this!” But I get it. Job searches and life transitions are stressful. And the waves of excitement and self-doubt especially make sense. Just this week I’ve been considering taking a social work course and within one day I can go back and forth between feeling excited, inspired, and motivated and scared, self-doubting, and vulnerable. It’s been quite the emotional journey. I pray God’s peace, comfort, and guidance for you as you continue to go through a lot of transitions.