Depression Hurts
I have suffered from depression for most of my life dating back to my teenage years. I still do. I don't think depression is something that truly goes away for good or can be cured. It's the same with anxiety. You can manage it, so it doesn't interfere in your day-to-day life, but it never goes away forever.
I have read a lot of books on this subject, listened to several therapists and counsellors on how to deal with and manage depression. Everyone has their own opinion. Some things work, other things, not so much. What might work for one person, might not for another.
When I am truly depressed, I feel completely alone and isolated from the world. Everything is negative and wrong. In a way, it sort of immobilizes you. Even a small task around the house can seem like a huge chore, and take a great deal of effort to complete. Depression is strange in a way, because for me, it just seems to sneak up on me out of nowhere. And then it hangs around like a dark cloud over my head. And then I just feel lonely and hopeless, and disconnected from the world.
I try to do things to get out of my own head, and distract myself. Keep myself busy. Trying to fill the void and the emptiness I feel inside of myself. I try to talk to as many people as I can. Make connections in the community. Reach out to others. Try to access any self-help resources that are available.
I do enjoy attending Sunday Worship Service at ALC here in LDB. But, that's just one hour in one day of the week. What do I do with myself for the other 6 days?
Always trying to fill the void. Sigh.
Nick
2 Comments
I've been through deep, dark periods of depression and relate to feeling alone, small tasks taking a great deal of effort, the dark cloud, keeping busy, and reaching out to others. Good for you for reaching out, staying busy, and accessing resources. Keep going. Hang in there. Good work.
I am so sorry that you suffer with the darkness of depression. It has been heartbreaking for me to watch my daughter suffer through various stages of depression, and so as I read your words, I felt the familiar wrenching of my heart and stomach at your experience. Just as with her, I hesitate to offer you false hope and promises of sparkling unicorns, but I do want to encourage you to keep pressing on and through. It sounds like you have been making many positive choices with your time and energy to manage depression. You can be proud of yourself for the hard work you have done, and continue to do, to heal and create a healthy life for yourself. You are worth it!